Chapter 72
Previously: The Rose of Whitby – Chapter 71
Darcy tilts her head, looks puzzled. “What? Why?” And she doesn’t let go.
“Let go or I’m… I’m going to hurt you,” he tries- he’s not sure he could kill her, and even if it’s creepy vision Darcy… he doesn’t want to.
But now Darcy’s expression clears. And her grin gets wider, and she purrs: “Oh, is that what we’re playing? How’re you going to hurt me, then?” And she pushes up against him.
Arthur gives a strangled: “No!” and shoves her away and is this close, this close to that plasma bolt, the magic is surging and all it would take is a thought, the tiniest push of his will… But Darcy lets him push her back, and her expression changes again. She looks… hurt? Concerned? “Arthur-love? What’s wrong? You’re acting really weird.”
He doesn’t have time to figure out what to say to that because… because then her eyes fill with tears. “This is about Eloise, isn’t it?” she demands, then sniffles, then stamps her foot. “It’s no fair! It’s just human rules, we don’t have to listen to them, just because you have a wife for the societal standing now!”
…A wife? And… and why is Darcy suddenly crying? He was all set to fight, but now she’s looking at him with her eyes all big and tears running down her face. “I’ve always been good for you! I tried so hard, I love you!” She… what? What’s happening?
Her expression turns pleading, and her voice goes small when she asks: “Do you not love me anymore?”
It’s just a vision, he tells himself. It’s not real. But… but Darcy is looking so… scared? And he really doesn’t want to hurt her, but… but he’s not in love with her! That’s wrong! …But maybe vision him is? He had some memories of vision him, earlier, didn’t he? Hesitantly, he tries to actively reach back, to… prod at what vision him would think of that… and there’s a big, warm surge of… of, well, he supposes it has to be love? and denial, and he blurts out: “No!” to her question before he can stop himself.
…Now what does he do? He can’t really… uh, is that lying? If he says what vision him would say? But Darcy looks so hopeful… “I, um… still love you?” That… that feels really weird to say. But… but he can remember vision him growing up with Darcy, and her laughing and smiling so bright at him, and vision him thinking she (…something feels odd about that? Why does that feel odd?) is so beautiful, and laughing back and feeling so… so at home?
“Then why?” she pleads, comes a little closer again- but only a little. He can all but see the drooping wolf ears and tail, not sure she’s welcome. And of course he doesn’t want to do anything of that sort, even if vision him apparently… ugh, no, he’s not going to think about it!
So, what about this thing of him having a wife? …And why is he playing along with the vision now? But Darcy (the real Darcy) said it was kind of like a story, so maybe that’s the way out, play along with the story, but… but your own way? …Make it a better story? Anyway, yes, he can remember a blonde woman from vision him’s life. And… and… “I care about Eloise, too.” Vision him does, he can feel it. “And it’s wrong to do this behind her back…” Which vision him has been doing, and has been feeling bad about, but… but did anyway.
Darcy… pouts, and tilts her head, and sighs. “You really, really believe she’s real? Because if she is then… then fine, but what will she think? Because no!” She stomps her foot again. “She can’t have you, she can’t take you away! Not when you still love me and you know, you know what humans think of me being what I am… and what that makes you in human eyes.”
She gives him another pleading look, and Arthur continues to be confused- what she is? …A dhampir? Do humans know about dhampirs in this vision world? Hesitantly, he reaches for the memories again and… and remembers her swiping her wet hair back and laughing, and there’s ferns and plants around like a jungle, and they’re in some kind of pond, he can remember the warm water, and Darcy doesn’t have a shirt on, and he shouldn’t blush because vision him wouldn’t but also, uh… that’s… that’s not a female chest. And with her (?) hair not braided and just hanging over her (?) shoulders all wet, he notices that, well, maybe the reason for …her face not being so round is because that jawline is heavier than he’s used to and, uh… …this Darcy isn’t a girl…?
And then he very quickly shoves the memories away because vision him knows very well that Darcy isn’t a girl and if he doesn’t get away from that, he’s going to throw up, so- Darcy, not a girl. Just pretending to be a girl? No, there, another memory, vision him telling someone, he can’t remember who, “They’re not a girl! Or a boy! They don’t have to be either!” and feeling really very strongly about it.
Right… well, okay then, what does he do with that? He’s still having a conversation here- a conversation that isn’t getting any less confusing. But, he notices- it’s confusing now, but not terrifying anymore? Darcy is inching up to him again, looking like she, no, that’s wrong, like, uh, they want to… hug him, maybe? On his own Darcy, he’d think that expression meant they …she (this is confusing!) wanted to give him a hug to make him feel better. He lets himself slide down the wall to sit on the floor, and sighs.
Well, if he were vision him, but also… but also being better than vision him, and doing the right thing, what would he say? “I don’t think Eloise would be like that. She is real,” (well, to vision him, anyway,) “and… and I don’t want her to take me away. I don’t… want to have to choose between the two of you.” That’s what vision him has been worried about for ages now, he realizes. But it’s cowardly for him to sneak around on someone he really cares about. That’s not what you do to people you genuinely like. That’s not the kind of person he wants to be.
~~~~
“How did it go, Arthur-dear?” Having come over next to him when she noticed the way he half threw the book, Darcy has a hand on his arm, wondering if he’ll have a sign on his forehead.
~~~~
John’s been ready with the sketchpad but that looks more like just blinking out of it, well, from what he heard, that’s a vast improvement over last time.
~~~~
“Um.” Arthur looks at Darcy- his Darcy. Much smaller than other Darcy. And, uh, yes, more female, really, why didn’t he notice that right away? Well, he reasons, it could’ve just been an age thing… And it’s weird how both of them being smaller means she’s also larger, as in, in relation to him. It’s a very confusing change in perspective. But, right, she asked him a question… “…Well, I think? That was… uh, not scary anymore?” He straightens up in his seat. “Was there a symbol?”
~~~~
“Not yet.” Darcy shakes her head, but is so happy to hear that it wasn’t scary. “See? I knew she would listen to you.”
~~~~
“Uh,” Arthur says again, and finds himself blushing. “…I guess …she did.” Or they. And what’s that all about? Why would that be in his vision? He’s not scared of Darcy being a they; he doesn’t really feel one way or the other about it?
~~~~
John wants to shake his head at those two, but he feels like a bit of a hypocrite. Not as if he communicates much when there are other people around, and he’s not sure how often those two get to talk alone. Even more so with, apparently, Darcy featuring in Arthur’s worst nightmare. Should he feel somewhat offended on Darcy’s behalf for that? It’s not as if Darcy minds, but then, his girl has a wolf-mind as pure and loving as really only the puppies out in her hospital. So he better add on there with a grunt. “Keep going. Probably will solve that on your next round.”
~~~~
Arthur nods, a bit hesitantly. “Yes, I… hope?” Which… would then have to be something to do with that wife of vision him’s? Certainly, that’s a very, uh, awkward situation there, and one that’s making him feel really, really out of his depth- so he supposes that qualifies for the trial.
~~~~
Smiling encouragingly at him, Darcy insists that he’ll just have to keep talking to that other her. There should be nothing scary about it. With a slight duck of her head, she acknowledges that they maybe both aren’t so good at this words-thing, but they try. But until then, what does he think? This kind of looks like her symbol, doesn’t it? She pushes an open book towards him, she spotted it when she walked over to him out of the corner of her eye.
~~~~
Arthur’s only too happy to be distracted from thinking about the contents of his next vision, and leans over to compare what Darcy found with their sketches. And, yes, he agrees, it does look like it- well, he’s not sure about that squiggle in the middle there, but then, they’re not sure if they got the symbol sketched quite right… He looks at John for what he thinks, turns the book towards him.
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Holding their sketch next to the book John narrows his eyes at it. “Not perfect, but we don’t know if that’s on us.” He checks what the text under it says and starts chuckling. Now, he personally would definitely agree with it, but he’s not sure it’s the word that comes to mind first about his girl. “Charm?”
~~~~
Darcy blinks and points at herself disbelieving. “Me? But that’s social stuff.” She hardly even reacts to Gregory telling her that no, no, she’s so amazing; of course she’s that, too.
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“Huh,” Arthur says, looks between the book and Darcy. “Yeah, that’s what it says. Though… we don’t really know what the significance of the symbol is, do we? But it is probably related to how we solved the trial?”
~~~~
It’s a bit uncouth of her, but Darcy snorts, snorts so hard that it’s half a grunt before she manages to put her hand in front of her mouth, and fights not to keep on snorting, so she’s very glad when John ruffles her hair and with a proud grin declares that if he got that right, she charmed old Lancaster’s pants and blood off.
Charming like a femme fatale, like the villainess in a story. He’ll just take the slight blush and wiggle from his girl as, yupp, he hit the nail on the head. That was the right way to tell her that he’s proud of her and that he thinks she dealt with her drac-less ‘weakness’ masterfully.
~~~~
Arthur shudders again and pulls a face, back to fighting nausea- nope, he’s not thinking about that.
~~~~
Darcy is still wiggling, it’s not as if she didn’t notice that John tried out that hair ruffle her daddy always does when he’s being affectionate with her and she likes it. She likes it even more that he’s proud of her, she loves being good for her loved ones. John… oh, he isn’t judging her at all for having been a harlot again in her vision. But maybe… well, he knows she is, and… maybe it’s okay because she’s his harlot? His affair. His femme fatale? He likes her confident. Always has. He was laughing and hollering in their adventures when she showed off, didn’t he? And if the world sees her as a woman, isn’t that one of the few ways a woman can be strong?
The confident seductress… oh, like her mother! John likes her mother (shoo, settle down drac, not like that!) and that means it’s okay for her to be a harlot. Papa kind of encouraged it, John looks downright proudly at her, and Daddy was so dismissive of any gossip. Maybe… maybe if she has to play a woman, that’s the right way to be a strong woman for John? Mistress. That’s the word, isn’t it? And that means holding power, oh, she hadn’t noticed that before. So fine, charming and deadly, she’ll try her best at it!
~~~~
How Darcy can be so unbothered by what she had to do in the vision, Arthur doesn’t understand. He’s glad for it, but he doesn’t understand. Of course, it’s not like he’s going to ask her about it, and also not really his business, is it? Darcy looks happy about her success, and why shouldn’t she be? But that leaves him without something to research to distract himself from his impending next vision, and for some reason he looks across to Gregory. Only to find Gregory’s eyes on him, and a grin on his face, and he braces himself for a tease of some sort, Gregory must’ve noticed his discomfort, but then… then Gregory’s eyes go glassy just as he’s about to open his mouth, and… and Arthur really shouldn’t be glad that Gregory is having a scary vision, he really shouldn’t be.
He glances at John and Darcy, but they’re busy smiling at each other, and Darcy is rubbing her cheek against John’s shoulder, and… he doesn’t think they’ve even noticed that Gregory’s having another vision. Which… Arthur has no idea how he feels about. He kind of wishes he could grab his genet from beneath the pillow and hug it again, but of course he can’t. So he just kind of sits back, balances his notebook on his knee, and waits to see if there’s a symbol showing up on Gregory’s forehead.
There isn’t any when Gregory blinks back out of it- and he still doesn’t seem very upset. Arthur sits forward, and the first thing Gregory does is grin at him and say: “You’re a cool vampire, Artie!”
“Um… thank you?” Arthur replies, not sure what to make of that. Seeing as he still doesn’t know whether being a vampire comes with any negative side effects. But he guesses he’s glad that vision him didn’t die-die? Again, it takes some prodding to get the whole of what happened in Gregory’s vision out.
Lucy successfully turned that Arthur, and then they went back to the place where it all happened and found out Darcy was gone, and then a bit later, Arthur was flying to London for some reason (he doesn’t know why, when Arthur prods) and sees Darcy with some really pretty guy- well, he’s not sure why they decided that was Darcy, didn’t really look like Darcy, but when he got back to Lucy, that Arthur was all excited about having seen her. Oh, yes, and what actually happened was Darcy helping that really hot guy out of a window and then turning bat and flying away, and Arthur flying after- yes, he can also turn into a bat then- until Darcy and the other guy meet up with that vampire, who then does the bat-turning thing and flies away with them much faster than Arthur can keep up. And then he woke up- well, when Arthur returned to Lucy and they were talking about it being Darcy.
~~~~
Darcy tries really hard to stop herself from thinking that of course the thing Gregory focuses on is whatever apparently hot guy she is catching. Not that she knows why she would do that; maybe it’s because of that meanie vampire? Must be, she wouldn’t be around somebody who hurt her family voluntarily! So she scoffs and tells Gregory that, obviously, he has to help Arthur find her and rescue her!
~~~~
Gregory grins at Arthur and says that of course he will, he’ll protect him! Privately, Arthur thinks that a vampire-him is probably about as sturdy as it’s possible to get, but… he appreciates the thought?
And now what? he wonders. Gregory didn’t get his symbol yet, which means Arthur still has nothing to look up. He makes some notes on what Gregory described- which Gregory still doesn’t seem to find scary at all? Or maybe he’s just not showing it?
It occurs to him that he knows way less detail about what happened in Darcy’s and especially John’s visions, and he hasn’t really shared any details about his own. But he doesn’t really want to talk about the details of his, and Gregory doesn’t seem to mind talking about his. So…
He doesn’t get to decide what he really thinks about that, because there’s that brief, encroaching darkness again, and then he’s in a room he doesn’t know- a different room from the study, this time. A sitting room, maybe? There are couches and arm chairs around a coffee table, and shelves full of books and interesting things- pretty shells and rocks and feathers and what not.
It’s actually a comfortable room, and that’s so weird if this is his father’s house. Which it is, knowledge from vision him tells him.
There’s also a tall, blonde woman standing by a window and looking at him, and it’s possibly the strangest sensation ever that he knows that that’s vision him’s wife, Eloise, whom he really likes. Seeing her standing like that, all straight and chin up and hands clasped is making him feel all guilty and ashamed, because… because he can read her apprehension in it as she looks between him and, oh, Darcy, who’s there, too.
This time, a bit of time has passed between the visions, and it’s disorienting- has this conversation already started? No, not really, other than vision him asking Eloise for a talk. And before that… uh, vision him cried on Darcy? He’d be embarrassed, but vision him isn’t, and Darcy held him, and… nope. No, he doesn’t need to remember anymore! Back to the… challenge? at hand. That’s what this is, he reminds himself. It’s no more real than John’s dreamscape, just less… benign.
That doesn’t mean he knows how to start this conversation. He is so not good at this…
Which apparently Darcy takes for their cue to instead ask the woman outright: “So, what kind of horror conversation are you currently envisioning whenever Arthur-love finds his courage?”
Eloise tilts her head and looks at Darcy in surprise- clearly, she didn’t expect that, and, uh… Arthur gets the vague impression from vision him’s memories that this might be the first time Darcy really addressed her directly? But she moves on from her surprise quickly to look at Arthur again.
“That it was all a lie,” she answers. And Arthur’s not vision him, but he still winces, because… because even so, he feels awful being the cause for this tension and unhappiness. He opens his mouth to say something, he’s not sure what, but maybe she thinks he’s going to protest, because she continues: “I’m not an idiot, Arthur. I know your family doesn’t care much for me. At best, they tolerate me, at worst,” her glance flicks to Darcy, “they hate me.”
“I don’t hate you,” Darcy pipes up. “Until very recently, I didn’t even think you were real- what’s to hate about that?”
Eloise frowns at them, narrows her eyes. “Oh, because that‘s better,” she snaps. Anger so she doesn’t start crying, Arthur thinks. But she takes a deep breath and focuses on him again, rather. “Did you lie to me?” She meets his eyes head on, and he can… yes, he can read her, he can see the hurt she’s keeping back. “Was the man I met just a ploy to trick me into this marriage, so you can have your… window dressing,” disgust laces her tone, “to cover up the truth?”
And Arthur doesn’t even know her, but his heart still beats fast, it’s almost like vision him is inside of him feeling all desperate and awful about himself at her saying these things- oddly, this seems to be more about what vision him is afraid of than he himself?
But he remembers walking around campus with her, arm in arm, laughing at the snarky comments she murmurs to him about some of the people they pass, observing their behaviour like they’re animals in the wild- not at all demure like young ladies are supposed to be.
He remembers how they just fit– how they met, and just understood each other, how talking was so easy, how he just liked her, right away. Which isn’t something he’s ever experienced before.
Well, arguably, it still hasn’t happened to him, the real Arthur. But if it did, then he wouldn’t want to treat that person like vision Arthur treated her.
So he takes a deep breath, and leaves Darcy’s side, walks up to this woman to stand with her by the window. “No, it wasn’t,” he tells her. “But I’ve lied about some things, and that was wrong. I’m sorry.” Because if you fuck up, you apologize. Yes, this is the right thing to do. “I should’ve told you everything so you could make an informed decision.” She looks at him searchingly. He fights the urge to duck his head as he continues saying what vision him should say. “But I was scared that if I did, you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Which was… selfish of me.” Yes, it was. If Arthur was that woman, he’d be really very pissed off, he thinks.
She nods like she agrees with his thought, glances at Darcy again, but then turns her attention back to him, ignoring them for the moment. “Your family is terrifying,” she says frankly. “You can be terrifying.” Despite that, she still meets his eyes. “I told you I wanted to marry a kind man.” And she did- he remembers that vision him and her had a conversation about that- that she confided in him with things like that, with her dreams and fears and how she felt she didn’t fit anywhere. And vision him really is an arse for knowing that and then putting her in this exact situation, where she has to wonder if he just used her!
“Are you a kind man?” she asks, and he says: “I want to be.” And yes, that’s right, that is what he wants to be- he doesn’t want to be the kind of arse that vision him was to her! Well, and to this Darcy, too, wasn’t he? It’s weird, and he’s not going to think about what they do, but if vision him loves this Darcy, then it’s not fair to them either to sneak around and treat them badly because he was too scared to be honest with someone else he really cares about!
Eloise nods, apparently believes him, but looks to Darcy again, then back at him. “And you think they’ll let you?”
Arthur follows her look to Darcy, and… and he wants to say that Darcy would support him in whatever he decides- his Darcy would, right?
This Darcy looks confused, and says that Arthur is a kind man! He’s always played with the monsters, and taken care of them when they were missing limbs, and has been such a sweet man for the science aspirations of their family, and well, if Eloise says she’s not stupid then Eloise can guess that he’s also been kind in ways no human would be to them.
Arthur blushes at the last one, and he really, really doesn’t want to touch any of vision him’s memories on what that means.
Eloise looks Darcy over at them mentioning missing limbs, clearly looking at all the limbs that are there. Then she meets Arthur’s eyes again, and he meets hers with an understanding of… of… Darcy might not see anything wrong or unkind, but yes, he knows that he’s doing things that are. …Which… he’s not sure vision him is so aware of? But vision him isn’t real, so the important part of is what he as the real Arthur is aware of… right?
Eloise shakes her head slightly, says to Darcy: “I don’t know enough detail to judge whether I agree with your examples, or what reasons I could have to counter them. But I do know that there is something wrong here. That there is…” She hesitates, presses her lips together for a moment, swallows- she’s scared. But she forces herself to continue anyway: “murder.”
Arthur can hear the rustle of cloth as Darcy shrugs, and they say: “Arthur makes me pick out the ones that deserve it when he’s involved.”
Which… vision him does? …Apparently, vision him does- he has some flashes of memory, and one of them does feature a man he knows by sight, back from the real world: that drunk from the tenement next door who always beats his wife and kids so much the entire street has heard the screaming and shouting.
And Arthur really can’t feel sorry for him.
Eloise looks surprised, too, and then… her expression softens a bit? “You do that?”
Arthur nods, finds himself blushing.
She sighs. “And what about when you’re not involved? Standing back silently when you know something bad is happening… I know it’s hardly anything unusual, but… it’s not right, either.”
…Apparently, even vision him feels bad about that. And apparently, Eloise can read that in his posture, because she steps closer, rests one hand on his forearm.
“What about your father?” she asks quietly, and she lets him openly see the fear in her eyes. “If he believes I’m a threat to his control over you, Arthur, I’m going to have a convenient accident. Or illness.” She shudders, wraps her arms around herself. “That man has no soul. Arthur, if you really start questioning what he does, he will kill us both.”
Yes, yes, he would. Arthur knows that well enough- he doesn’t get the sense that vision him would, but… well, it’s his vision, he’s the real one. And it feels foreign, but also like the right thing to do, so he reaches out to take Eloise’s hands, and she lets him. He looks at her, then at Darcy for support, and takes a deep breath.
“I won’t let him. If I have to, I’ll fight him.” The mere thought sends his heart racing and turns his limbs to water, but… but he has magic now, doesn’t he? He was willing to fight off Darcy with it. The idea is utterly, deeply terrifying, but… but if he had to, if his father was trying to kill him or someone he cared about… he’d fight him.
The last thing he sees is Eloise’s relieved expression, and he feels her hands squeezing his, and then that brief darkness swoops in and he sits up in the library. There’s a white light reflecting off of the table top in front of him, one coming from him, but it’s already gone by the time he’s raised his hand to his forehead on instinct to touch it.
~~~~
With a pout, Darcy reaches for the sketchbook John held and tries to jot the symbol down best she can from where she had to scoot to the floor to keep an eye on his forehead, but then smiles brightly at Arthur. “You made it, Arthur-dear!”