Chapter 37
Previously: The Rose of Whitby – Chapter 36
The following day is awkward. Darcy notices that there’s a distance between her and Gregory that wasn’t there before and it stings, so she decides to make it better, she was too harsh she guesses. When she asks him to come to her room in the evening, she can tell that his smile is a mask, his confidence put on, and once she has gotten him to rest his head on her lap she asks him to please drop the act.
Still insecure, he confesses that he got really scared that he ruined everything, that she would leave him and he doesn’t know what he’d do then. Petting his cheek gently, she tries to reassure him that she wouldn’t make a decision so irreversible and important as marrying somebody haphazardly, she’d be ruined now if she’d drop him at the first sign of trouble anyway. It’s meant as a bit of a joke, the way she’s seen the boys joke, but it doesn’t seem to work, so she just sighs and keeps talking.
How he could think it would be okay to drug her she can’t fathom, and he again says he didn’t mean anything by it, that he didn’t make any connection to coercion. All he was thinking about was that he knows how bad being hungry is, that he doesn’t want her to have to be hungry or to be restricted.
With another headshake, she tries her best to make him understand that for freedom to be freedom, it has to be the one she sees as freedom. He can’t impose his definition on her, she has to find her own. She isn’t him, she does not mind many of the conventions, she likes being traditional in some ways, the rules mean safety from what is really scary, people. Also, she’s already bending so many rules, many to make him happy. Being a bit shy and reserved is part of who she is, the always-strong baroness is a mask.
He gives her an amazed look, says that it’s so hard to understand her, she’s so complex and complicated, while he’s easy. There are so many sides with her, but he’ll try to understand her better, simply be there for her.
Hand still on his cheek she sighs, she wants to trust him, that’s important in a relationship she thinks. He answers immediately that he agrees, that he wants her to trust him. After another moment of hesitation, she gets up and rummages in her dresser, comes back with the collar and leash, holds it out to him, which makes him ask if she wants him to put it on her.
“The point is not what I want or don’t want, but that I trust you with it.”
Hearing that, he beams, and after putting the collar around her neck holds the leash happily while she leans into him. Then he turns her face to him and kisses her, this time she lets him. For a while they trade little assurances back and forth, well, she tells him something, he kisses her. Then he asks her if she knows how differently she acts when she’s hungry. She admits that she does only partially, she knows the world seems less scary when she’s hungry. On the inside she imagines herself putting a hand on her drac, knowing it’s there always makes her feel calmer.
Being leaned into him, the scent of his blood sings louder and louder to her and she fidgets slightly, shifts position to not get overly obsessed with it. He just puts his hand against her head again. When she mumbles that no, she doesn’t always want to use him for his blood, she worries about objectifying him (Yours, yours, yours, take it! – No! This is exactly why she worries, there is that persistent voice speaking up every time she thinks about his blood and she doesn’t want to think of him like that.)
Of course, he just tells her he doesn’t mind, tells her rather enthusiastically that he likes her bites and pushes her face against his neck again. She closes her eyes, clenches her teeth for a bit, then mumbles that if she bites him, if she drinks, she’ll probably get shy again and he doesn’t like her being like that. No, he doesn’t, he agrees, can’t she do what she did earlier, she did something to feel less shy, didn’t she?
Admitting that she used a power her mother taught her, increasing her strength, she is just about to wonder if that really might work when she has a thought that makes her blush furiously. It’s not the first time either that Gregory has caught her out on that specific emotional pattern, he knows she’s too embarrassed to say something, so he starts poking and prodding with glee until she admits, in a tiny whisper, that well, she doesn’t want to shock him but um, well, she uses blood to increase her strength but she also uses blood to heal herself and does he remember some of those passages in the books they got that one night?
No, he doesn’t really, it takes him a little bit to clue in that wait, is she asking him to… hurt her? When he stalls and says that he wouldn’t really know, and she should better read that again, and can that be done safely, and how would he know if he’s doing it right, she gives him a flat look: “Gregory, I heal and you can literally feel my emotions, don’t be dense!”
He still stalls, seems suddenly insecure at her having a request, and one that is different from what he clearly wants from her. He tells her that she can read him everything again before the wedding. But then she thinks of something, and the thought is so enticing, and then he starts poking her about it again. This time, she pouts, does use some more blood, mentally puts both arms around her drac now, because he keeps asking, it’s not her fault, and asks if she can’t get him to bite her. He looks at her in confusion and asks in which form, which makes her sigh, the one with the nicer teeth, of course.
Again suddenly insecure, he mumbles that she really wanted to marry in white though. He blinks when she says that’s specific to certain activities and seriously, how is he suddenly the shy one, there is only so much hinting she can do!
At that, he looks at first confused, then lights up as if he finally understands what she means.
But then he gets to work on the buttons on her dress, starts kissing her deeply. It makes her feel nervous but he says that’s okay, she can be nervous, he got this.
Is he… what is he doing? She shivers as she feels his hand stroking down her back and onto her butt, he shouldn’t have his hand there, why… oh, she guesses she pushed too hard. She wanted too much, she was bad for him. She shocked him after all, and now he isn’t holding back anymore, this is what he wanted. She said ‘specific activities’ and well, she can’t do those, the medical harness is still in place, she’s not ready, not able, so he’s right. He’s right, isn’t he? She’s nervous and not sure, but she wants to be good for him and she spurred him on, this is her fault, she should be better for him, give him what she can. That’s what a good woman does for her man.
Shivering again as he pulls the dress off her with obvious desire, she pulls her arms up, hides herself, but then slowly lets them sink down again. It’s alright, isn’t it? He kisses her shoulders, then he puts a gentle nip against her skin and there’s her drac again, pouncing on the slight pain with abandon and that means it’s alright, right? Why does he keep his touch so gentle, didn’t she ask for something else? Why isn’t he biting her more? She must have asked for the wrong things, he knows better, of course he does. She can’t manage to look at him, cheeks ablaze, needs all her willpower not to cover herself after all, to let him look and touch. When she tries to hide her face behind her hands as he looks her up and down, he pulls them down, kisses her deeply, then waves away her worries about her body being different, not what he wants, not what he’s used to.
Her drac nuzzles into the touch, wants more, it likes it, it wants more, but Darcy is still nervous, unsure, and yes, his words reassuring her that she is good enough make her feel relief and gratitude, so it must be alright what he’s doing. Finally, he starts adding some more far-too-gentle bites, although she blushes again and doesn’t dare look down at her breasts where he is. And didn’t she ask for her demon? That must have been wrong, too, it’s alright, he knows better, so she gives in, lets her body and eager drac overrule her remaining reservations and worries. He’s her engaged, Papa sanctioned it, this must be how it’s supposed to be.
She goes along as he forgets what she asked for, goes along as he turns a bit commanding, as his focus is on her seeing him (forgetting again that she reacts to smell not sight), goes along as her fear flares back up when he pulls her bloomers down, but he grins at her, tells her again, best of both worlds, perfect for him and he certainly knows what to do for her drac to just pant with wanting more, more, more, yes, YES, finally!
That doesn’t mean she’s not blushing when she asks what she can do, she knows that’s what he really wants, why else would he have interpreted her request like this. He first tells her that he could teach her to use her mouth like that too, and she’d be willing, just not sure if she has any chance of learning this fast. Giving her medical harness a quick look he suggests that she has another hole that is accessible and he knows can be great fun. His hand is already on her behind to emphasise his meaning.
Her surprise is overshadowed when she catches the slight darkness as he does add that it’s fun with somebody who cares. That decides that. She wants to be good for him, so she tells him she trusts him, she wants him to enjoy himself, she doesn’t want to be the only one gaining from this… um, creative interpretation of the rules.
That has him grinning and eager again, searching around the vanity for something that can be misused as lube and gets to work on her enthusiastically. And while he tries to be gentle and patient, she meanwhile leans her head back into the pillow with a moan because finally, finally some pain, now that he tries not to cause some, but that’s okay, she must have asked for something bad, so it’s okay if he never does it on purpose.
It doesn’t need to be on purpose, the pain is addicting, her drac is howling in pleasure, alive alive alive!, and Gregory doesn’t seem to mind now that he is panting himself, tells her to bite him, too. Which is the end of that experience, as he instantly shouts in climax, collapses on top of her, while she licks the bite shut gently, keeps holding him as he mumbles about her being magical, and she promises him to make him feel only better in the future when she learns to be better at this. She thinks that’s only… well, proper is the wrong word maybe, but it’s what a good, obedient wife would do, so it must be right.
Now, all of a sudden, he brings up that they should do this when he is in his demon form one day, as if that hadn’t been what she asked of him at all, as if it was his idea. She doesn’t say anything about that, though, surely that would make her bad, but she does dare to ask why it has to be someday? Now he stalls again, again unsure when confronted with her asking for something, tells her that he won’t be able to sense her emotions then (she’s not sure what difference that really would make), so she just smiles and reassures him because yes, she can feel that the thought of him like that, the anticipation how that would hurt, how much she could smell of him, yes, that has her and her drac agree on wanting it, if she dares to admit to being really horny for that thought.
He finally gives in and pain flares through her entire body, making her throw her head back, fingernails clawing into his back, her back arching, legs trembling as that, rather than his earlier movements, throws her into another orgasm. As she starts to scream with pleasure, Gregory puts a hand over her mouth, asks her if she is all right.
Her ecstasy-addled brain needs several long moments before she can even open her eyes. What? Why is he asking? And how is she supposed to answer? So she smiles, licks his palm and begins to trace her nails over his back again, urging him to stop holding still. She can tell he’s trying not to hurt her and… no, she told him, he could read in her emotions earlier that she wants the pain, not the gentleness, if he still doesn’t do it it must be bad, so she doesn’t complain, just invites him to start moving.