Chapter 36
Previously:
“He’s not nearly as volatile as I would’ve expected from someone who’s supposedly violently insane,” Arthur observes, thinking back to his interactions so far with Radu. “I was all ‘I’m not letting you bullshit me’ with him earlier, too, and the only time he got offended was when I accidentally suggested he might kill someone he drinks from… and even then, he was offended, not aggressive.”
~
“I’ve been thinking, Basarab never said violently insane, did he? He said insane, we saw Harker, we made assumptions. Maybe?”
The way Art is running a hand over his face, yupp, John hit a shared thought there. Worse, Art mentions that Basarab, or Draculya, as he insists, thinks tactical first, and what would be more tactical than making a situation seem clearcut?
It’s somewhat weird for John to admit it, but he is wondering: If Darcy loves the man, if Quincy likes the man, how bad can he really be? Honestly, he might have grumbled because the ruckus hurt his head, but Radu looked miserable, that trauma must be fucking huge… and well, John is the last person to not understand a trauma that… Fuck…
It wasn’t the word rape, it was the ‘sold as wives’ that had Radu stumble. Fuck! John gets it.
How jumpy would he be if Darcy hadn’t pulled him off that fucking ship? Now he really feels bad for the guy. But also glad that Quincy is there for him.
~
Arthur furrows his brow as he tries to recall what exactly Vlad had told them, but he can’t. There’s been just too much going on. “He definitely said in one way or another that Radu was dangerous,” he observes. “But yeah, he also definitely didn’t come out with the whole story about this feud, even I can tell that he was holding shit back, giving us only a part of it.”
~
“Vampires.”
With another groan, Art gets back up again. After all, Mariam shouldn’t actually go into town alone. Not that he’s any better for her reputation, really, but he is at least known to be affiliated with the barony. And the boys will be fine without him. “I don’t trust either of them, but nothing much we can do. I’ll be in town with Mariam, you two just rest up a bit, you deserve it, you won at least one fight today.”
Probably more. Although, the way it sounded, that victory belongs to Mina’s brat. Minstrels, seriously, the less he has to deal with either of the two of them, good.
~
Oh very well, Quincy can give Radu a few minutes to come down from being flustered, but not too much, he wants to get back to him… wants to hold his hand again, too.
This feels so very much like the night when he healed Cycy. So much emotion, so much burning need. Just, this time, no sharing with his bro, Radu is all clinging to him. Divine, but it helps! He’s not felt this good in over a week. His drac hasn’t been this quiet in a week.
Well, if he counts it scratching at the walls to get back to the other drac as quiet, but it’s an improvement.
Looks like it’s just Arthur and John? Where did Art slink off to? Doesn’t really matter, he’s here to fetch the selkie, she’ll be a perfect tool to help Moonshine regain his composure, and with her out of the room, his darling and Arthur can catch the rest they really need.
Although he does hold in a snort, because John can be so pragmatic when he’s done with something. Clearly, he didn’t give a shit about anything anymore, Quincy knows that breathing pattern, his darling is out. But Arthur is still just sitting on the sofa, so he goes over there and kisses his hair.
“Hey honey, I’ll see to the Selkie. Catch some sleep, too.”
~
Since he was kind of fretting and trying to get himself up and over there to do… something to reassure the selkie, without any idea what that something might be, and still stuck on the couch in indecision, Arthur gives Quincy a grateful smile.
“Thank you,” he says, heartfelt.
Then bites his lip. “You’re closeby, though, right? Close enough to tell if Gregory came back?”
~
Aw, how on earth did he suddenly end up being the less scared one?
Then again, he has a voivode hovering over him needily, makes it a bit easier to not be worried over demons.
“Moonshine and I are just up in my room. He can easily enough sense anybody in the castle, I’ll tell him to keep an eye on it. He’ll keep us safe. He didn’t attack full out last time because he didn’t want to really hurt somebody he thought was with us. He won’t make that mistake again.” Leaning in again and kissing Arthur’s hair a second time, Quincy smiles as he looks over to John. “Still, call for help if you aren’t sure. That grump over there would rather have another migraine than not protect you.”
Now Quincy just needs to figure out what to do with that selkie. He doesn’t have a pelt, although he suspects he knows where it is, but that’s for later.
For right now, he’ll use his and Radu’s minstrel powers to talk to her and make her feel comfortable best they can until they get the pelt. They somehow need to get her back to her people, and maybe fast, before something happens to her pelt. Things to discuss.
But first, sitting her down, or even bedding her down, it is getting late for well behaved little wifeys after all. Yes, checking with her if she needs supper, and then he’ll set her up with a nice guestroom together with Radu.
She comes along obediently enough, and that just makes Quincy even less comfortable with this.
~
They’re well into the evening, and it’s a weird time for a nap, and Arthur thinks that probably, the sensible thing to do would be to head to his own room and bed and go to sleep properly, even if it’s early for that.
He doesn’t want to, though.
He’s feeling all wrung out now, the emotions from earlier and the time of day coming together to leave his head all fuzzy, and he doesn’t want to be alone, and he doesn’t want to be so far away from Quincy and John, and nothing is really resolved yet.
So instead, he kicks off his shoes and curls up on Darcy’s couch, and falls asleep there.
When he wakes up, he’s groggy and disoriented, and blinks into Quincy’s face.
~
“Sorry, honey, just want to bring you over to my room so you can get a proper night’s sleep.”
Okay, in all fairness, Quincy kind of suspects that there might be an interruption, he did tell Radu to let him know when he gets back, but then, it’s Radu, he will most likely just directly telepathically nudge him. “It’s late and Art and I agreed that it doesn’t make sense to discuss anything more before tomorrow, so bedtime.”
~
“Okay,” Arthur agrees, because he could get his brain to focus, but he doesn’t want to. He sits up to stuff his feet back into his boots, and takes the chance to peek at John, who seems fast asleep as well. He hesitates for a moment, then reaches for Quincy’s hand.
~
Well trained boyfriend, very well trained boyfriend indeed. Quincy likes it and lets Arthur know by way of giving him a beaming smile and gently stroking his fingers over where he’s holding Arthur’s.
“Radu found some things out already, but he left again, because apparently, he has to go to London to track down who really is behind the selkie smuggling. We’ll hear all about it tomorrow, I’m sure, but just in case, don’t worry if you wake up from me getting out of bed, I told him he can wake me up.”
Because of course he told him, what if Radu is upset again? Quincy would go up in a hissy fit if he learned Radu needed his care and didn’t dare come and get it.
~
“Okay,” Arthur says again. Being upright and walking does bring his mind somewhat back into focus, after all, so he asks: “…Is he okay? And, uh, is the selkie?”
Since he wasn’t much use on either front, the least he can do is remember and enquire, he figures.
~
“We calmed her down and put her to bed, and then Radu brought her pelt, too.”
If that helps the selkie he doesn’t know yet, she was asleep by then, but they did their best there.
“And he’s terribly upset about the entire situation, he understands them too well. He doesn’t want anybody to have to live through what he did. But I still think I’ll have to take more care of him…” Does he dare, yes, screw it, he does!, “and I’m really happy about him letting me. I want to. He protected me, the same way Cycy would have, his drac… It’ll be there, for me. Always.” Yes, fine, that last word was a bloody sigh, but it’s true.
~
Arthur slides a side-ways glance at Quincy.
Should he ask…? But… he’s curious. And Quincy is… Quincy. His boyfriend.
Surely, it’s okay for him to ask?
“Always, huh? And dracs and like Darcy and all… What’s that mean? That sounds more… long-term and involved than ‘vampire we met today and are making common cause with’…”
~
Silence on the cheap seats in the back there! Quincy groans because… he doesn’t know? “It means that that’s what I think, feel.”
Just that there’s a feeling he doesn’t have a clue about. He’s not sure he’s felt it before, and maybe that’s why he’s so clingy.
More emotions. Does it have something to do with Radu being a vampire? He just knows one thing, it’s not mind craft. “It’s real. That’s what it means.”
Arthur tilts his head in confusion. “What’s real? The whole… drac bonding thing?”
“It’s not just my drac liking him. Or his mine. He makes me happy, feel more in control again, not so terrified of Cycy not being here.”
Now, Quincy has no interest whatsoever to say anything ridiculous like needing him. But he likes having him around. He likes the thought of Radu waking him up so he knows he’s back and so he can make sure he’s alright. It just makes him giggle a bit, be bright with anticipation, too.
~
“Well.” Arthur considers this, then decides: “That’s good. I’m glad.” He smiles at Quincy. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s really weird, and I don’t know that I totally trust him, I’m not a dhampir, but… I mean, he wasn’t faking when he got all scared and what not, so…” He sighs. “Ugh, I’m rambling, sorry. I’m not sure what I’m thinking, but I’m okay with just going along with things for now, I think, is what I’m trying to say.”
~
“That’s okay, let me take the lead on this one.” Okay, that formulation makes Quincy snort. He might not always be the best at self-insight, but that was over the line, so he adds with another chuckle: “Or most of the time, you know you have a bossy boyfriend. For right now, though, all I want to do is boss you into bed and a proper round of sleep.”
~
“…I think,” Arthur says slowly as the thought bubbles to the top as if through syrup, “I think I like having a bossy boyfriend. I trust your judgement, and…” he bites his lip while he lets Quincy steer him into Quincy’s room, “and… I don’t like being in charge? I mean, sometimes I don’t mind, but… but I like when it’s not all on me?” He swallows with the realisation: “It was always all on me with Gregory. Before the demon stuff, I mean…”
~
“Honey, I think that didn’t change after the demon stuff, not that I’ve ever seen him try so much as make half a decision that wasn’t to use us.”
With a scoff, Quincy decides this is the perfect excuse to switch the way he’s holding Arthur’s hand so he can lift him off his feet and carry him to the bed.
“You brought this on yourself; your boyfriend will keep being bossy for your own good, and for all actual crises it goes to the tribune, more than enough bossy people around. Just watch Mariam and me bitching at each other until John puts his foot down, the lovely darling.”
~
Arthur decides he really is perfectly fine with being carried, and relaxes in Quincy’s hold.
“And I know you’ll still listen to me when I have a concern and it doesn’t mean I’m superfluous.” Mostly, at least. He does know. “It’s good to have friends. And a boyfriend.”
~
“First off, Cycy would bite the lot of us for being mean to you if we did. Secondly, you are the smart mage of the group, we’d be very stupid to not listen to you. But right now, bed time, I’ll clean your makeup off of you where you are. Just relax, that should get you right back to sleep, it’s going to feel so nice. Get into your pyjamas for me while I get set up, will you, honey?”
After having set Arthur down on the bed and put a kiss on his forehead, Quincy fetches the things from the bathroom to not make a total mess of his pillows while cleaning his own work up. For himself, well, he expects Radu, so he’ll leave a bit of makeup on, not too much, but please, it would be embarrassing to be seen without any by a man who clearly understands the importance.
~
Arthur does as told- he hadn’t even thought about the make up, he got kind of used to feeling it on his face. But Quincy is right that him wiping his face down with soft warm cloths and some mysterious tinctures is really relaxing, and he’s basically back asleep before Quincy is even finished.
~
Great, he’s awake. If he hadn’t been out with a migraine, he would have been in control of this, but no, now he’s awake and feels like shit. John stretches a hand across the bed.
Empty.
Of course.
He thought that would be better, but that conviction has eroded away fast over the last week.
Empty. Alone.
It stings.
His hand hits the side table, and like he did the last few nights, he grabs for the hard liquor. Maybe his mother was right. This is the only companion that never leaves you.
The alcohol burns, makes the still lingering headache flare again. And that makes him bark a bitter laugh.
Pain is familiar. Isn’t that what his girl always says? He can’t really say that the pain is soothing in any way. But he doesn’t have a drac… and is that going to cost him his bro, too? He saw how Quincy looks at Radu. Those two get along so well.
He’ll be completely alone.
And that’s what a man is supposed to be. Just him and his girl against the world. Admitting that maybe he isn’t that much of a man stings, too. But… he wants his friend, he doesn’t want to lose him, too. He’s been keeping it together by just about a thread the last week. He feels like a thunderstorm in a bottle held in by a cork that’s cut in half by that aforementioned thread.
Maybe it’s not too much if he… just like they did before, if he has an adventure with Quincy in the dreamscape, that’s not too weak, right?
He doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to hurt like this, he doesn’t want to get angry because he’s hurting.
But he is, and frankly, that scares him. His temper, this fucking temper he got from his father, he hates that part of him wants to punch Radu for the sheer audacity of Quincy liking him. Don’t steal his friend!
Turning around too fast, giving himself another stab of pain, he forces himself under, even if that probably is a terrible idea, as is reaching across the castle to find Quincy, but… if he doesn’t, he doesn’t trust himself not to cry, or rage, and he isn’t sure what scares him more.
~
Oh, most definitely not! Who does his darling think he is?!
Quincy huffs even while he carefully sits up in bed. Over his gorgeous corpse does that idiotic manly man get to do what idiotic manly men do. Not on his watch!
He should have done that right away the second he spotted the liquor bottle earlier. That’s on him, that he thought he’d let John sleep off the migraine. He doesn’t even bother with a house robe, marches in just about his underpants over to their bed, and he should have declared that their bed more loudly.
Obviously, John knows he’s coming, after all, Quincy yelled him into waking him up.
Still, the way Quincy finds him half sitting up in bed, with the bloody bottle already in his hands again, has Quincy explode. He said he wouldn’t let John get to this state. Now he’s angry with himself, and angry with his only friend that he would do this. He’s over there in several long strides, shrieking, and forcefully rips the bottle out of John’s hands.
“You bloody idiot! You overgrown piece of flint! I could cut myself on your masculinity, but only because it’s brittle enough to shatter at so much as you stumbling into a wall again! I’m not having it! You are not allowed to be a drunkard! You… ugh!”
Can Quincy ever see that he poked the hornet’s nest. But of course, his manly man with his dual idiocy of not wanting to show anything that could be not manly enough, but also being terrified of even allowing himself the one manly emotion of anger.
Huffing, he clenches his jaw, fine. Fine!
Quincy would do a lot of things for his darling, and he can see John’s emotions eating him alive on the inside without Darcy.
Hah, as if he doesn’t know that feeling only too well.
Alright, dhampir solution it is!
Hissing and showing fangs, he makes sure to actually hit as he slaps John hard.
And there it is. Can Quincy ever see that John lost it to his temper there. That was exactly zero thoughts going through that brain before John’s fist hits him right in the jaw. Is he ever glad he’s a dhampir, that is a lot of pent up emotions and regular workouts Quincy can feel there. He didn’t hear it break and he takes that as a blessing because he wouldn’t have been surprised.
Neither is he surprised at being on the floor, not just from the punch, but because John threw himself at him, pinned him down when they went down together… and, really, Quincy central, wrong moment to point out that yes, John is so much raging masculinity sitting on your hips. Thank you very much, accurate, but not helpful. Especially not because Quincy never meant to disrespect John’s fear of his temper, especially not when he now sees first hand what it can do. There’s nobody home up there when Quincy just about manages to wiggle sideways out of the path of another punch.
Time for the heavy cannons. Time for every last inch of his acting ability, and maybe just the tiniest bit of mind craft nudge.
Letting his hair fall into his face, chin down to make himself look more feminine, voice lilting up as high as it can go, Quincy whimpers up at John: “Mon borne…”
That landed better than any punches Quincy could have retaliated with. He can see the colour drain out of John’s face fast and he’s already scrambling backwards off of him, but that’s not what he really needs from him. No, don’t get away from him.
“Darling, give me those hands of yours.”
Scooting after John, right up against the bedframe, Quincy doesn’t let John get away when he curls himself into his side and takes both of his hands, dares to lift them and puts them around his face. They are trembling, maybe even John is trembling. This was pretty rough on him, so now Quincy will be extra gentle.
“Your hands are made to protect. Protect me from the pain you could inflict. Protect me so you can protect your girl. Hold me, you big idiot of a manly man. Hold me and do something with all those emotions you bottle up.”
~
What did he do?!
He hurt his bro!
He did exactly the thing he promised himself he’d never do: Lash out in anger. He’s no better than his father… who always did things alone. Who is exactly the kind of man to just bottle all his feelings up the way John did the last week.
Until it broke and hurt his mother, killed his mother.
One little slap from Quincy and John halfway doesn’t even remember getting on top of him to… to just keep punching until he was too exhausted?
The thought terrifies him.
But here is his bro, telling him to hold him. As if he doesn’t know that Quincy is just as bad as him on getting hugged, maybe even worse on getting taken care of. But… but the moment John puts his arms around him, Quincy leans in, leans his head on his shoulder like he’s done so many times before. And… is that the shudder of tears?
Yes, he can hear it in Quincy’s voice. The words don’t even matter.
Not that John could answer.
He needed to hold somebody so badly. Hold and protect, not hurt. He pulls Quincy tighter into himself, feels the sting in his eyes and the way his throat is raw, and part of him doesn’t want to, but it’s too fucking much, and does he really want to be a man like his father? There must be other ways. There are other ways.
He leans his face into Quincy’s hair, it even smells of the same shampoo Darcy uses, and that little thing is the final straw, he can’t hold back the tears anymore.
This is his bro, the most important man in his life, who is hurting, too. It… it has to be okay to share.
He can’t push a single word out, though. Too raw, far too raw.
He doesn’t have to. Quincy is one of his dhampirs, so all he does is shift the way they are huddled into each other, and hugs Quincy’s face to his neck. Words are overrated. He agrees with his girl, and right now, he just wants to get at Quincy’s drac directly, show him that he sees it, too.
He is there for it. For Quincy. Radu isn’t the only one. Please, he wants to still be friends, he wants Quincy close.
Don’t abandon him for another man.
*
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